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We come into this world with a psyche that is split into separation from our true divine nature, and the blueprint for ego becomes instituted. The story of Adam and Eve describes this spilt as our fall from grace. But it never really happened! It’s all maya – illusion – and becomes our inner journey toward awakening to the truth of who we are. Beyond ego and the lower mind lies our true spiritual nature as limitless and timeless beings. But because the ego is defined by the electro-magnetic charges of negative and positive, duality, and specifically loss and gain, are born in the mental and emotional bodies. So loss and gain are programmed into our consciousness from the get go becoming an unconscious lens through which we view the world.
In fact, if I could distill into a single egoic construct all of the processes that people come to me wanting to clear, it would be loss and gain. This is true because the relative mind will interpret any negativity in one’s life as a loss, whether it’s a material “loss” of some kind, some heavy state in the emotional body, or simply a loss of happiness. Sure, losses and gains are part of life – they seem very real in this world. But this is only the mind’s superficial reading of what’s going on; it is the dual mind’s interpretation of the natural ebb and flow of life. In truth, our natural state of wholeness and oneness is complete in itself: paraphrasing my teacher, nothing can ever be added to or taken away from that which we are!
What if we could stand “outside” of the natural rhythms of life and just watch? Rather than getting pulled into and identifying with a story around loss and gain, we watch and witness the movement of energy in our emotional body. This neutral witness is grounded in being. It’s identity is as spiritual presence. When we know ourselves to be that still presence – unchanging and eternal – then the ups and downs of life occur, but they don’t shake the ground of being that we are. Our deepest knowing from the place is that the invisible realms always support us and that the Universe is the source of unlimited supply! Loss and gain are real for you only when you believe them to be true. Granted this is a paradigm shift in the way we see the world, and so it becomes a process of undoing and reprogramming the limited mind.
The witness, or neutral observer is our ally here. By pro-actively witnessing or catching the contracting energy in the mind or emotional body, and then consciously choosing not to buy into it we create an little expansion and an ascension. We are detaching from ego and opening to what is true beyond it, which is our divine nature waiting to be unveiled! It is also helpful at this point to remind our lower selves of our unlimited spiritual nature with an affirmation, such as I am Spirit, I am divine and I am always supported.
So, practically, this is how it might play out in your life: You seem to incur a material loss of some kind – the IRS notifies you that you are in errs and wants you to pay more taxes, perhaps. You can consciously choose from your neutral witnessing presence not to take it as a loss. Rather, you can choose to step out of an egoic response and see it as a temporary ebb in the flow, reminding yourself that the Universe has your back, always. You have faith because you know that the tide will turn eventually, and, especially, if you are able to remain open and centered and not contract emotionally, it will happen sooner rather than later!
Negative emotions will also feel like a loss to the ego.The entire structure of our emotional body is based on negative and positive, loss and gain. So even the slightest drop of our awareness into negativity, say self-doubt, perhaps, will register as a loss. Unless we are able to witness it! If we can catch self-doubt as it slips into our awareness and detach from the story we are telling ourselves about it, we won’t make it real and unconsciously feed energy in to it. We can, instead, align with our center and allow all feelings, however negative (or positive), to pass through the still Presence that we are – never diminished or increased, but always full, complete and content in itself!
In this world a message we get all the time is be positive, stay positive, or focus on the positive etc. Well of course! Makes sense. Foolish would it be to focus on the negative, although the ego will fall into this trap from time to time and, unfortunately, even get lost in it. We have two choices then, or so it seems. We can go negative or we can go positive. But what happens, eventually? Experience shows us that life is transitory and we won’t remain on the positive side of life forever; at some point negativity will creep in and even take over! And then the tide will once again turn and fate will hand us a positive experience, which, if the negative experience was particularly painful, we will cling to for dear life! So we will inevitably flip from one side to the other in an endless cycle of positive and negative, happiness and unhappiness, pleasure and pain. Is this what life is about – always grasping for the positive and pushing away the negative, the wheel of karma endlessly turning? What can we do? Is there another way?
The Middle Way, or the path between the opposites of the world is what the Buddha teaches. It reconciles the tension inherent in polarity and becomes the path of no resistance. It’s the one that gets my vote! This choice transcends positive and negative and the dual nature of the limited mind, and new more stable states of being become our default in the world – acceptance, compassion, equality, faith, forgiveness, generosity, gratitude, humility, joy, selflessness, tolerance, and trust, among others, for example. Feel into them for a moment. Do you notice how your attention comes to rest at the level of the chest at the heart chakra? These states of being are heart states and have the unique qualities of transcendence and eternality: our capacity for compassion, generosity, or joy, for instance, is unlimited! It is these heart states that unify the opposites of the world, bringing about inner peace and, yes, on-going happiness. It is through making the choice to choose the heart, rather than simply the positive, that puts the brakes on the wheel of karma and our identity with the endless ups and downs of life.
When we choose the heart we identify with our true, essential nature as timeless beings. Negative and positive experiences will always occur in a world of form that is dualistic by nature, but we will no longer find our identity in them. Instead, life’s experiences will pass through us, through the still center of awareness that we know ourselves to be. Without the extreme teeter-tottering of emotions creating instability and fear in our lives, life smooths out greatly. We embody more and more transcendental light and shine that light out into the world. Our lives change. We begin to draw to us all that we need for our well-being and happiness.
Too good to be true? What I’m describing here is our birthright to live happy and content lives beyond the limitations of egoic consciousness. When we choose the path between the opposites of the world we surrender the denser aspects of ego that are driven by individual will. We come to know and to trust in Divine Will to guide our lives, which, in truth, is all there ever is… if we could only get out of the way! Through processing and practice we learn to surrender our limited egoic consciousness for what may yet be unknown, but for what is always absolute truth.
Do you feel ready to take on this inner work? If so, allow me to be your guide. I promise you a gentle ride through the roller coaster of egoic life. And I promise, at its end, the ride will even out and you will feel not only relief, but more and more moments of absolute joy! Please click the Spiritual Guidance page at the top of this blog, schedule a session, and let’s go!
Photo credit: Penelope Dullaghan
I received an e-mail from someone who was feeling frustrated when she tried to talk to her friends. She was sharing with them that she is seeing a world in a state of chaos and potential collapse with climate change, the melting of the polar ice caps, species extinction etc. and that they had better wake up and take notice. Yet, her message was falling on deaf ears. No one seemed to want to hear about it, let alone talk about it. She feels passionate about the urgency of the state of the planet but, at the same time, doesn’t want to risk losing her friendships. She asked me what I think she should do, and we set up a Skype call.
I shared with her that there can be a fine line to walk when sharing one’s truth about an issue with friends which has the potential to shake up their comfortable reality. What I’ve learned about truth speaking is that in order for one’s truth to be received by another we must get out of the way! That is to say, our words must be free of any taint of ego. If others sense we are coming from an egoic place, even a little bit, they will likely shut down. This is where discernment can be our closest ally.
I suggested some questions for self-inquiry:
Am I attached to my point of view? Are you able to have an open discussion about the issues, and if your ideas are rejected, will you take it personally? Are you willing to cede and/or modify one of your positions if a convincing opposing argument is made?
Am I being self-righteous in my tone, however subtle? Are you consciously or unconsciously assuming a morally superior attitude?
Is there some part of me seeking validation? Do you need to be “right” because your sense of self-worth would be otherwise threatened?
Am I playing a savior? Do you feel like it’s up to you to save your friends and the planet from some certain demise?
When we are free of ego we come from a place of neutrality and naturally express our truth from a balanced place in the heart. This makes all the difference. Our passion about an issue remains in place, but there is no attachment to an outcome, and we maintain our inner peace whether our words are accepted or rejected. When we speak our truth from the heart our words will be infused with spiritual power and will create an opening in the energetic field between ourselves and the “other”, which invites receptivity. We trust that our words will be heard and received by those who are ready to hear and receive them. It is these souls with whom we can collaborate.
… and for those who are choosing to remain unconscious? We trust that we have planted a seed in their consciousness that has the potential to sprout and grow. Then, after a time, we may check in to see how our seedling is doing by opening up a new conversation, again, always holding to the non egoic place as the place of our true power. After all, it’s the human ego that got us into this predicament, and transmuting it through the open heart is our only way out. This is the realm of wisdom, intuition, inspiration, and even the miraculous. Nothing else will ever do.
As I write this, I can feel one of the The Hopi Elders tapping me on the shoulder, and I am reminded of their message to us from a few years back. With deep respect for their infinite wisdom, I give them the last word:
We Are the Ones
We’ve Been Waiting For
You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.
And there are things to be considered:
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your Truth.
Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader.
This could be a good time!
There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.
Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water. See who is in there with you and celebrate.
At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.
The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.
All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
–The Elders Oraibi, Arizona Hopi Nation
A student recently asked me what she could do about feelings of apathy, meaninglessness and desolation.
These heavy, dense emotions feel terrible and our first instinct is to run away from them – to not feel them. We may do this by distracting ourselves, by getting really busy or, perhaps, by self-medicating in some way. This is a mistake. By ignoring our feelings we actually allow them to dig a deeper groove in our psyche and in the body. In truth all emotions exist as a field of energy – an energy vibration held in the subtle body and the physical body and activated by thought. If we avoid feeling our emotions, the disturbance will eventually manifest in the physical, as a physical imbalance and an ailment of some kind. The solution is the willingness to witness any negative emotion that arises as a sensation in the body – simply as a vibratory field of energy. What typically happens, though, is that the mind intervenes. The ego/mind wants to tell a story about the source of the pain – to blame some one, or to blame some external event for causing the pain, or to feel sorry for itself. But this only exacerbates the suffering. With the willingness to experience our emotions directly and to expose them to the light of Truth, they will leave.
Our pure awareness is the light of the divine, and when we bring this awareness and attention directly to bear on the source of our discomfort in the body, this light acts like a laser beam, burning through the disturbance to reveal what is always there – the ground of being – vast eternal Oneness – and the source of our true peace.
To begin this exploration find a comfortable meditative position, or alternatively, lie on the floor on your back, arms resting comfortably at your sides, palms up, legs slightly apart with your feet relaxed and resting outwards. In yoga, this is the classic savasana pose. Take some deep relaxing breaths and bring your attention into your body. Notice any physical sensations. See if you can find the emotional pain you are feeling in the body. There is a corrolation. It can be sensed as a knot of coiled energy, a tingling sensation, or a churning tumultuous feeling, or perhaps an area of intense heat or pressure. Allow your awareness to meet the sensation directly. Feel. Notice if your mind wants to co-opt the process by telling a story about it, and let this go. Come back to sensation. Stay with it. It may want to move or morph into a different shape, or take on a different tonality. Track it as it moves or changes. Focus your lens of pure awareness directly on the source of your discomfort. Allow it to burn away.
You will soon find that which seemed to have so much substance, to be nothing at all! Take some deep relaxing breaths and enjoy this new found spaciousness. It is this spaciousness that is your true nature, and the field within which all emotions pass.
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