I received an e-mail from someone recently who is beginning a new career that requires “clear thinking and efficient decision making”, but is feeling stymied by her continual self judgement: “the self critic (is) always on my shoulder, a constant turbulence beneath the surface… if I don’t have success over this, I will not be able to continue this job.”

Here is my response:

The inner critic that haunts you at work is an internalized parental authority figure. And this ghostly persona is tapping into a program of ‘worthlessness’ that was instituted over time throughout your childhood years.

Before we came into this world we were connected to Source, to our essential nature as spiritual beings. Suddenly, from the warm, nurturing environment of mother’s womb we are thrust into this world – what a shock! The experience immediately registers as a loss and a separation from our divine nature. From the Oneness of the ‘all that is’ we are born into a world of opposites and duality. In fact, it is on our journey through the birth canal that we are imprinted with all of the negative and positive frequencies that comprise the mental and emotional states required to fully experience life seemingly divided in two. And down near the bottom of the dark void of negative states, lurking in the unconscious, lies ‘worthlessness’. After all, we were cast out of heaven – we must have done something wrong! In truth, none of it is real – our connection to the Oneness of the divine is never lost. Duality is a perception, an illusion, and part of the maya of existence which our souls chose to experience.

This ‘worthlessness’ becomes a program that can be triggered as we begin to make it real. First, our parents begin to shape our sense of self-worth by rewarding us in some way, with affirming words (or candy, or a toy, perhaps) when we please them, or punishing us with disapproving words (or actions) when we let them down. And if your parents were particularly harsh, critical, and judging when you were growing up, then you will have a heavier parental overlay of this ‘worthlessness’ program. By the time we are adults we will have had countless visits with worthlessness, a state which is so dense and uncomfortable, it gets pushed into the unconscious. And there in the unconscious it remains, unseen and unfelt. We hope it will just go away, but like the proverbial bogey men, it waits hidden in the closet of our minds, waiting to be activated by the slightest intimation.

The program becomes further imprinted when the critical authority figure that is our parents then becomes our teachers in school! When we finally we arrive into adulthood we have completely internalized our external authority figures. We don’t need anyone to criticize and judge us and tell us we are not good enough – we do it to ourselves!

But there is a way out of this apparent trap in consciousness. There is a way to revisit and clear the childhood experiences where the trauma of worthlessness (and other traumas) were first programmed. The work is called “Releasing Frozen Children”. If you like we can plan a session and I’ll guide you through this simple and accessible, but profound work. When you rediscover your divine connection beyond the illusion of worthlessness, you will remember that as a child of God you were always cherished and loved, and perfect just the way you are!

A beautiful and spoiled girl

Image by Isabela.C via Flickr