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I received an email from someone who asked me: “How can I be focused on just giving love unconditionally without waiting for love in return when I have experienced so much abuse in my life?”

We arranged a Skype call, and here is what I shared:

Our natural state of being is this unconditional love, emanating from the heart chakra in the center of the chest in limitless, eternal radiance. When consciousness resides in the heart, love becomes our ground of being. Negative states may arise, but we do not identify with them and they pass right through. They do not touch this ground of being from which we view and experience the world. The fundamental fabric of life is this love, permeating all of existence. It’s all there is; all manifestation arises from this field of love – unconditional love. And we are that.

So what is preventing us from experiencing this love all the time? Why does it seem to come and go? A friend sent me a picture of her new grandson over Christmas, his big, beautiful eyes shining bright blue, and his smile – radiant, the light pouring from his skin. There is such a transmission of Grace from this picture that it seems to have found a permanent place where I first propped it up, against a small statue of Kwan Yin on the side table in my dining room. This is our natural state – open heart, light-filled, radiant. As the baby begins his unique experience of life, this natural open heart state begins to become veiled from his perception. Because in this world we believe we are separate from our Divine nature, the heart behaves like a valve, opening and closing according to the positive or negative stimulus it receives. What will happen is that the baby will begin to have experiences that feel like loss, veiling his perception and direct experience of the eternal light within.

Perhaps it begins one day when he cries out to get his mother’s attention – maybe he is hungry, or his diaper needs changing – and mom is distracted and doesn’t hear him right away. His cries become louder. Eventually mom responds, baby is fed, and all is well. But then, later on, a similar experience occurs, and then another one. Baby begins to have experiences that feel like abandonment. The possibility of abandonment becomes very real to him, and this possibility becomes imprinted in his consciousness. It becomes a vibratory field which lies dormant, mostly, until it is activated by thought, by the thought of the possibility of abandonment. Imagine how as the baby grows into childhood, a multitude of negative experiences, experiences that feel like loss, can become layered into his consciousness. These negative experiences, these dense vibratory fields, are the veils that mask our natural connection to Source, to the light within, to the love that is our essential nature.

Our journey home to Self, to this natural state of love, is a journey through the broken heart. We must heal these wounds from childhood, allowing the suppressed emotions associated with them to surface, to be witnessed and released. When our inner deprived child is healed of this emotional wounding layered in consciousness, then the heart can open fully and permanently, unaffected by any negative stimulus. And in this open heart love can pour forth unconditionally, wanting nothing more than to express its inherent effulgence.