This question came up the other day: “If only I could be more patient with myself and others, I wouldn’t get so stressed all the time. Is there anything I can do?” 

Having patience, waiting… why can it be so challenging sometimes? Our lack of control over a situation and the accompanying feeling of powerlessness? Our activated nervous system and inevitable restlessness? Why do we so easily become impatient? Whatever our subjective experience, impatience is always about our relationship to time. We resist the unease of our present moment experience and desire to be in the future when our inner tension is resolved. We want that slow driver ahead of us in traffic to move along, already! We want that co-worker to complete their assignment so that the stalled project you’ve been working on together can proceed, pronto! The thoughts we’re having about the unresolved situation dominate our awareness and we feel restless.

So we could say impatience begins in the mind with the thoughts that the mind generates about what it feels should be. We become attached to some imaginary future moment when the world meets our expectations. Or if it doesn’t, at least we’re we’re no longer left in the dark! And in this we become a prisoner of psychological time, feeling trapped and stressed.

time-sand

But what if, next time, you were to choose to detach from this endless thought-stream? For this is where our power regarding impatience lies. Finding patience is synonymous with finding inner peace. And this inner piece comes from a quiet mind. It’s not so hard to do. The next time you notice yourself being impatient, simply take your attention away from your thoughts and to your breath. Focus on breathing deeply and rhythmically in and out for a moment or two. You’ll notice that the mind naturally quiets down, and an activated nervous system begins to settle. By slowly tracking your inbreath and outbreath with your attention, an experience of inner stillness will soon begin to take hold. The future holds no sway here, for you are becoming present.

It is in this still present moment awareness that, rather than resisting or desperately needing resolution to your predicament, you find acceptance for what is. And it is in this acceptance that you find your elusive patience waiting for you all along!